Types of Drunks
by lawlipopsicle
Summary: Blaine turns straight. Kurt turns into man-whore. They had never met before this night.
1. Chapter 1

Types of Drunks

lawlipopsicle

Blaine turns straight. Kurt turns into man-whore. They had never met before this night.

I don't own Glee.

This idea popped in my head when my friends and I were talking about the different types of drunks and how some gay men turn straight. Then I realized that's what Blaine is and I thought Kurt needed a type of drunk as well. Add in a background story so it's not strictly porn and you've got this story.

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

The day finally came. I have been dreading this for years, you know that. I tell you everything and you know how much I DID NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. I'm sure you, diary, my only companion who would never betray me like some others, know what I am referring to. My friends finally decided to meddle in my love life.

I know, diary, it has been a year since my last steady boyfriend and the five guys I've been on a date or two with since failed me. But you are clearly aware of the many, many hours I spend working on my designs! I have a very demanding job and it's not my fault that Charles, Robert, Mike, Kevin, Tony and Peter couldn't handle my work schedule! And besides I don't really want to date. My job comes first and as, my idol and inspiration, Lady Gaga says: "Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore." And by women, she also means gay men who are this close to making it to Fashion Week in Paris as a main designer!

So no, Mercedes, I do not need a boyfriend. Yes, I'm super happy for you that you finally found yourself a boy and yes, I know you want me to be just as happy as you are. But believe me, darling, I don't need a boy hanging off my arm to be happy. I don't need my friends walking in on me making out with a boy any more than I need to be walking in on you and David having a right ol' time on the couch.

At least you're clothed a good percent of the time.

As I was saying, diary, my friends, especially Mercedes, decided that Kurt Hummel should not be single anymore and decided to hook me up with one of David's friends. Not just any friend, like an acquaintance you know but just say friend to avoid social awkwardness that you say hello to when you see each other, maybe stop and ask how they are, but don't bother to pick up the phone any other time to check in. No, this Blaine kid is one of David's best friends. They went to elementary, middle, high school, and college together. Even Mercedes has met him.

She claims we're meant to be together. We just scream soul mates, apparently. She says he's dapper as anything and dresses sharply. She says he has a sultry singing voice and can charm the pants off of a mannequin. She wants us to meet at a party David and his friend are having to celebrate Blaine moving into the Big Apple.

I know there will be alcohol there. I look forward to it, in fact. I know what you're thinking, diary. Kurt, you are a terrible drinker. You're a lightweight and you turn into a man-whore and so far you've slept with almost all your guy friends and it's a wonder they're still friends with you so you better quit before you get hurt.

Yes, diary, I am aware. But I've been thinking. From what Mercedes has been telling me, Blaine is a gentleman. A straight up gentleman. Chances are he won't want to be with a man-whore. If I'm running around giving a bunch of guys lap dances and trying to make out with anyone with a dick, he'll think I'm a terrible human being and refuse to date me.

When love comes, I'll know it. I don't want it to be forced upon me by my friends. I told them that I don't want them to try to fix me up and this is what they'll get.

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><p>Journal,<p>

It is June 22. It's been two weeks since Nate dumped me and already David wants to set me up. I'm grateful for all the things he and Wes have been doing in the past two weeks to help me get over my most recent heart break but I don't want another boyfriend. It hurt real badly, my break up with Nate. I've always been one for relationships. Ever since I came out in high school, I've always had a boyfriend. The longest I've been single has been… well two weeks. But Nate was my longest with four and a half years.

After Nate dumped me in the harshest of ways, I've decided that I need more Blaine time. I need to focus on myself before I go into another relationship. I thought David and Wes understood that. I told them that I was moving closer to them in New York City so I could hang out with my best friends and start over from Ohio-Relationship-Dependent Blaine to New York City-Independent Blaine.

I guess Mercedes really did a number on David's heart. Mercedes is such a sweet and caring girl and she makes David so happy. He's met all of her friends and he swears that her "biffle", Kurt, is the one for me. He's a diva like Mercedes and is deeply into fashion. He's opinionated and strong willed but incredibly sweet and has the cutest smile.

But I just want some time for myself. Let me settle into the city, go clubbing, have one night stands, go a little crazy and have fun for once. That's why I decided that I'm going to allow myself to go crazy this Saturday night at Wes and David's welcoming party. When I get drunk, I turn straight. I'll probably end up hitting on one of Mercedes's friends and go to her house, have that one night stand, and then slightly regret it in the morning. I probably won't even notice Kurt there. All guys seem to disappear from my radar when my alcohol level rises.

This'll be perfect. I'll show Wes and David that I'm not ready to settle down yet.

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><p>Kurt already had two shots in his system and he felt great. The alcohol was beginning to make his brain a little fuzzy and it was only the beginning of the night. In about an hour or so, he'll be plastered. All he had to do from then till now is stay hidden from David and Mercedes. He knew the moment they find him he'll be dragged to meet Blaine.<p>

He mingled with Santana and Lauren because both girls couldn't care less about giving up his position to Mercedes. Rachel would give him away in a heartbeat and he knew Finn would too if Rachel asked him. While Santana bragged heavily about something she deemed important, Kurt scanned his eyes among the busy crowd. He saw the top of Mercedes head coming his way and Kurt quickly apologized to his two friends before disappearing the opposite way.

The apartment was quite nice, he thought as he threw himself into a massive crowd dancing to Chris Brown. It wasn't huge but, knowing NYC, it must have cost the same amount as a full house back in Ohio. Kurt wondered what Blaine did for a living before mentally slapping himself. He was never gonna meet this kid sober so why should he care?

He danced awkwardly with the rest of the crowd, not drunk enough to lose all inhibitions. He needed to lose them before he was found. Slowly dancing his way to the alcohol stand, he saw a curly haired man chugging down a bottle of vodka. "You're gonna feel that later," he told the man as he snatched a jello shot off of a tray.

The man slammed the bottle on the table and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "That's what I'm hoping for," he muttered just loud enough for Kurt to hear him and walked away.

Kurt downed his jello shot and grabbed another as he disappeared amongst the crowd. As the alcohol warmed up his stomach and clouded his brain, Kurt was thankful he was a lightweight or this night would have dragged on forever. He saw Puck dancing (grinding) on some girl not too far from him. He knew that once he found Puck's mohawk attractive was when he was really feeling it.

And goddamn did Puck's mohawk look hot.

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><p>Blaine trailed his fingertips down the girl's side. She fluttered her eyelashes at him and he grinned back. His fingertips strayed and he found himself cupping the girl's ass, pulling her closer to his body. She moaned softly against his neck and flung her arms around him.<p>

Already an hour and a half in and Blaine was already too gone to remember he was gay. It was the vodka, he slightly remembered. He downed that liquor like a pro even though he really wasn't one for drinking. He had kept far away from his two best friends all night. They were there before the party, helping him set everything up and informing him that close to fifty people were going to be there. Most of them were either Wes and David's friends they had met while in the Big Apple, friends of Blaine's from Dalton, Wes's girlfriend and a few of her gals, and Mercedes's and all of her friends from high school including Kurt.

At first he was really against so many people in his medium sized apartment especially since it was so new and he liked his apartment tidy. A bunch of drunk 20-something year olds dancing to upbeat techno music was not a good idea but then he thought otherwise. The more people, the better he could hide. The more drunkards, the easier it'll be for him to get smashed. Not to mention there were quite a number of girls on the list. Good looking, single girls.

Not that being singled mattered. Blaine was still able to get them with him even if they had a ring on their finger.

The girl in his arms noticed he was distracted and began to nibble on his neck. Blaine pushed her away roughly and walked back to the bar. The confused girl stared after him for a while before another guy, probably Nick, grabbed her wrist and pulled her away. Blaine didn't like it when people bit his neck. He preferred to bite, however, most girls liked to do that as well. He understood the appeal. Most girls were shorter than their boyfriends and therefore had great access to the neck in front of them. Blaine was rather short for a guy and all of his previous boyfriends' necks were right in front of his face. He liked to bite, especially when drunk.

Reaching the bar, Blaine downed another gulp or two from the vodka bottle. The room was spinning and he felt himself topple slightly as he tried to walk back toward the crowd. He felt a hand grab his own and he stumbled into them. Giggling, he looked up to see Wes. "Wes!" he said. He reached up to pat him on the cheek but he missed and slapped his ear. "Great…. to see you… buddy!"

"God Blaine! How much did you have?"

To Blaine that sounded like Russian. "Wes… I didn't know you could speak Russian!"

Wes mumbled something and started to drag him away from the dancing crowd. "No, Wes!" Blaine yelled, trying to break free. "I needs to dance! You don't understand! Dancing… it's my passion!" He tried to strike a ballerina pose but ended up crashing to the floor. "Wes! When… did you get so tall?"

His friend picked him up and wrapped his arm around his waist as they walked to the couches. "Wes, I'm straight. We can't do this. Wes, I'm sorry but I don't feel that way for you… Wes…."

Next thing he knew Blaine was on the couch staring back at his two best friends. "Blaine, listen carefully. Mercedes went to find Kurt. I want you to stay here and wait, okay?"

The only thing that processed in his mind was Kurt's name. He nodded dumbly and when Wes and David got distracted by a short brunette girl waving dramatically he bolted from the couch and disappeared into the crowd.

He was surrounded by bodies and that helped him stay on his feet. He started to dance. When he's sober, Blaine had interesting dance moves and all of them were named such as 'But Why is the Rum Gone' and 'Tasered Octopus'. When he was drunk, he looked like he was being attacked by bees and he was swatting them away with a look of pure insanity. Everyone else was too drunk around him to care that he was practically whacking them in the face with his flailing arms.

He felt a body slam into his and, automatically, he wrapped his arms around it to stabilize himself. Soft hands clutched at his shirt and a head with equally soft hair was pressed against his. "Don't let them catch me," the girl whispered in his ear with a drunk but high pitched voice. "Just let me dance with you."

Blaine was not one to refuse a girl when he was this drunk so he moved his arms from her back to the bottom of her waist. The girl was slightly taller than he was but this was not uncommon. The room was dark and his eyesight was fuzzy so he couldn't make out her looks. All he knew was that she was skinny, had light skin, and short brown hair. As soon as they started dancing, a Lady Gaga song started playing and it was like a natural instinct. The girl grinded into him and rubbed her hands up and down his chest. Blaine groaned as the girl spun around and danced down him like a pole. For a drunken girl she could dance. Pulling her back up, Blaine spun her back around and slammed his pelvis against hers. She moaned hotly into his ear as Blaine fondled her ass. She tangled her long fingers into his hair and slammed their faces together into a hot and searing kiss.

Blaine has kissed a lot of girls before while drunk. A lot. But this girl turned him on like no other female had done before. His lips vibrated against hers as he whimpered and she slipped her tongue in while given the chance. His body was warm from the alcohol and the passion of their bodies rubbing up against each other. Their kiss became sloppier as they tried to devour one another, both wanting to get as close as they possibly could. Blaine was vaguely aware he was dry humping her in the middle of the crowd. He barely remembered there was even anyone else around them. He could only keep his drunken mind on this girl and how good she felt against him.

She pulled her mouth away suddenly and Blaine moved forward to recapture her lips but her mouth had already moved to his ear. Blaine's knees buckled as the girl nibbled and licked his weak spot. His breath was coming out in pants as he gripped her hips tighter to remain upright. How did she know his weak spot? Did he tell her? He couldn't remember. All thoughts flew from his mind as she sucked on his ear lobe.

Blaine's eyes rolled downward and he spotted her neck. Her beautifully white and perfect neck. Feeling somewhat like a vampire, he ducked his head and bit hard. The girl jumped and dug her short nails into his shoulder blades. She was groaning into his ear as he continued to work on her neck. He bit, sucked, and licked, just trying to satisfy his need to get into her skin.

"Oh god…" she whispered hotly to him.

Blaine sucked his response into her neck.

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><p>Kurt felt the keen sharpness of a slap break through his drunken haze. He rubbed his cheek as the girl pulled her boyfriend away. She was yelling at him but the boyfriend's eyes stayed on Kurt. Kurt shot the boy a sexy smirk and blew him a kiss causing the boy to nearly trip over his girlfriend. Kurt rubbed his cheek again. That slap really hurt. It's not his fault her boyfriend was so easily turned on by him. It was either he didn't get enough sex or he was secretly in the closet. Based off of his girlfriend's pole-stuck-up-her-ass attitude and judging by his shoes, it was definitely the first one. Kurt smiled to himself and pushed himself off of the wall the boy had him cornered on. He was quite the kisser.<p>

He could hardly walk straight and he could barely tell what was a lamp and what was a person. He had just made out with random guy and got slapped by his girlfriend. Adding him to the list would make it a total of five make outs, three lap dances, and one heavy petting. This list also contained two girls yelling at him for touching their men and one slap. Kurt would call this a night a success.

As he walked (stumbled) toward the bar, a hand reached out and grabbed him. He was pulled up against a blonde boy he vaguely recognized. "…Sam?" he asked.

The boy grinned and snaked his arms around his waist. "I always thought you were super hot," he slurred. "Like super, super, super-duper hot. Don't tell Quinn… she'll be, like, mad."

Kurt leaned forward and gently touched his lips against Sam's. "Quinn who?" he whispered. Sam pushed their faces together, finally locking lips. Kurt gripped Sam's muscular upper arms as Sam's tongue slipped inside his mouth, running its course around his teeth and palate.

Just as Kurt's hands began to wander down the path toward Sam's incredibly smoking ass, Kurt was ripped away by a tight grip on the back of his shirt.

"You're in for it big time, white boy," Mercedes growled as she dragged him away. Sam blinked in confusion, so drunk he didn't realize Kurt was gone until it was too late. "You were making out with Sam. SAM! Obviously, you're drunk off your ass. God! Kurt! What am I going to do with you?"

Kurt barely understood the words his best friend was saying. She was talking too fast and the dancing crowd looked like a lot of fun. He squirmed in her grasp. He wanted to dance! However, his need to dance was broken when Mercedes said "Blaine is waiting for you."

Kurt sobered up for three seconds. He needed to get out of there quick! As Mercedes pulled him past Britney, he quickly snatched her and explained that it was Mercedes's birthday. Britney, always one for a celebration, tackled her black friend into a huge hug, exclaiming how excited she was for her birthday. Kurt quickly slipped away into the dancing crowd.

He noticed an insanely cute boy dancing by himself. He was just his type with curly hair, bright hazel eyes, and soft looking lips formed into a cute grin. Kurt sped toward him as fast as his drunken legs could carry him and threw himself at the boy. The boy felt like he was going to topple and quickly secured himself by hugging his midsection. Kurt fisted the boy's shirt tightly, afraid that if he let go Mercedes would find him, and hid his face into the side of his head.

"Don't let them catch me," he whispered to the boy, hoping he'd let him be with him. "Just let me dance with you."

The boy lowered his arms until they were resting on his hips. Kurt took that as a yes and as a Lady Gaga song blasted into his ears, he felt the alcohol soak his brain once more as he danced promiscuously against this boy. And damn could this boy dance. And fucking damn could this boy kiss. And as this boy necked the fuck out of him, Kurt couldn't wait much longer. He needed release and he needed it now.

"Come home with me," he moaned into the boy's ear. He shivered and nodded vigorously. He gripped the boy's wrist tight and yanked him out of the crowd. They exited and almost tripped down the stairs. It would help if the boy could keep his hands to himself. It was hard enough for the two of them to walk down a simple flight of stairs without worrying about wandering hands.

Kurt lived about a five blocks down the street. He and the boy clung close to each other, using the other to stabilize themselves. The air was warm but it was a million degrees colder than the apartment. It felt good against Kurt's sweaty and flushed skin.

They took the elevator into Kurt's apartment where the boy quickly threw him against the wall and lavished his neck with kisses. Kurt gasped, tangling his fingers into his hair, pulling harshly.

The elevator door opened and this time it was the boy who dragged Kurt down the hall. "Which is yours?" the boy asked with a slight pant.

"F-four thirty one," Kurt replied. Reaching the door, Kurt tried to unlock it as the boy fiddled with his zipper. He couldn't bring himself to slap the hand away so he struggled against lust and alcohol to unlock the door.

One second Kurt was opening the door, the next found him on his back with a very sexy boy pushing him against the sheets. Their lips found each other in a heartbeat. They danced sloppily but Kurt couldn't remember a better or hotter kiss. With each moan, their lips vibrated and each vibration sent more and more blood down south. He felt teeth pull at his bottom lip and he flicked his tongue out to lick those lips. The boy's tongue joined his at once and together they twisted and turned around each other.

The boy's hands were massaging his thighs, moving closer and closer to his aching need. Kurt untangled one of his hands from his death grip on the boy's curls to move downward, reaching the boy's ass. He pushed him forward, crushing their pelvises together. Their mouths broke apart as each yet out a loud and strangled moan.

Kurt couldn't talk it anymore. His hands flew to the boy's button up shirt and tore it open. As he pushed the sleeves down his toned arms, the boy went back to his favorite spot on Kurt's body- his neck. Kurt couldn't help but buck up against the boy as he slipped the shirt off. How did he know exactly what turned him on?

With all his strength, Kurt pushed the boy away from his neck and led him to lie on his back. He did so and Kurt worked quickly on his belt and zipper. Tugging his jeans off, Kurt realized the only thing standing in his way now was a flimsy pair of rubber ducky boxers. His erection made an obvious tent in the boxers and as Kurt slid them down his legs it sprung free immediately.

The boy was not a boy, Kurt thought hungrily as he admired his penis. He wanted so badly to suck it, just to have it in his mouth, but he was so horny that he couldn't wait. He gave himself a sample, however, and gave one, long lick to the underside of it causing the boy to gasp. The boy reached for Kurt's top but he pushed him away. There was no way he was going to allow some guy to ruin his clothing in a lust induced fury. He stripped himself while the boy stared impatiently.

Before Kurt could touch his underwear, the boy leaped at him and yanked them off himself. He brought them back into a lip lock as he felt the boy's hand searching for his hole. Kurt broke the kiss suddenly. "Wait," he panted, reaching into his night stand for a condom and a bottle of lube. He shoved them into the boy's hands.

Making quick work, the boy had the condom on and all lubed up in record timing. He added some to his fingers then placed them back between Kurt's legs. He heard the boy mutter something along the lines of "Where is the goddamn vagina?" but he wrote it off as drunken hearing.

Finally, a finger slipped into his asshole. Kurt gasped as the finger wiggled around. A second one was added, then a third. Kurt hissed. It has been a while. "You okay?" the boy asked. Kurt nodded and the boy began to scissor his fingers, spreading Kurt wide.

Kurt's toes curled as the boy brushed against his prostate. "Aahh! Again!" The boy obeyed.

"Take out your fingers," Kurt ordered and he felt the fingers slip out. The boy threw Kurt's legs around his waist and Kurt dug his nails into the boy's back. Squeezing his eyes shut, he embraced himself for what came next. The boy slowly slid in and they both groaned.

"Oh god…" Kurt whimpered as he felt himself being stretched as far as he could.

"You're so tight!" the boy moaned.

Soon he was all the way in. Before he could move, Kurt asked for him to wait until he was adjusted. The boy was literally shaking by the time Kurt gave him the okay. The boy pounded into him and Kurt scratched his back as he tried to cling on. He found his prostate quickly and pounded into that spot again and again. White dots were flashing before his eyes. Kurt whimpered into the boy's ear and tried to stifle them by sucking on his earlobe. The boy was moaning softly with each thrust.

"Ohh… oh, aahh, ungh!" Kurt was releasing the most unattractive sounds but it seemed to only fuel the boy to move faster. "P-please…" he didn't know what he was begging for but the boy responded anyway by pounding into him harder.

His legs were squeezing his sides tightly and he was sure he had punctured the skin on the boy's back. At the moment, he couldn't bring himself to care as he came with a loud moan. The boy was right behind him as he came inside of Kurt. He collapsed on top of him and pulled out. He slid off the condom, tied it up, and threw it to the floor.

Kurt pulled him into a kiss, one much softer than their lust driven ones before. Their slow kiss lulled them off to sleep, tightly wrapped in each other's arms.

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><p>I have absolutely no skill or experience when it comes to writing smut so hopefully that was okay to sit through. The fact that I kept calling Blaine "the boy" was probably as annoying to read as it was to write but it was needed.<p>

Next chapter should be coming up soon. Reviews make me remember!

Lawlipopsicle . tumblr . com


	2. Chapter 2

Types of Drunks: 2/2

Thank you to all who reviewed and added this story to your favorites or alerts! You all have a special place in my heart

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><p>Kurt awoke as the morning sunlight streamed into his bedroom and washed upon his face. Suddenly, his head exploded as he felt his hangover at full effect. This was the worst he's felt in a long time. He stretched lazily and froze as he felt a pair of arms tighten around him. Oh god, he thought. He had completely forgotten about last night. He was too afraid to open his eyes but he knew he had to get up. He could sneak into the shower and hopefully by then his partner will have woken up and left. He was nervous to see who it was. Please don't be Finn, please don't be Finn, he chanted in his head as he peeked an eye open. His face was about an inch from another boy's who was definitely not Finn. He opened his other eye and moved back to get a better look.<p>

The boy had dark brown curly hair that looked like Kurt played it with too much last night and thick triangular shaped eyebrows. His lips were bruised but incredibly soft looking and he had a strong jawline. He looked so peaceful sleeping. Kurt had never seen this boy before and he wondered who he was. He looked exactly like his type and from the way he body was positively aching (the good kind from a great night of sex, not the hung over kind) he knew he was great in bed. He wanted to stay in bed just a little longer, in the warm arms of this beautiful man but then he remembered that he probably looked like shit. He refused to look improper before this man and quickly hurried off to the shower.

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><p>When Blaine woke up, he felt like he was going to puke. Goddamn all that alcohol. But he got what he wanted. A drunken night and a one night stand. He didn't need a relationship. He was completely fine living for himself. However, when he opened his eyes to find a completely empty bed and bedroom, Blaine felt his heart sink. He curled back into the pillow and sighed. He would have rather woken up to a girl in his arms than to wake up alone again. He missed being held and being loved. He just needed to feel a warm body next to his, kissing his cheek and whispering cute words in his overly sensitive ear.<p>

He got up slowly, willing his headache away. There was no point lying alone in someone else's bed alone when he had an apartment to clean up. He found his clothing, including his now button less top, and threw them on quickly. He tried to flatten his hair but he decided that he really didn't care if this girl thought his hair was out of control.

Blaine stepped into the kitchen to find a man making pancakes. Blaine's heart stopped. The man was cute- very, very cute. He had short brown hair that was styled neatly away from his forehead, fair skin, and light blue eyes. He was tall and thin with a slight feminine stature. He wondered what his relation was to the girl he slept with. A boyfriend or brother?

The boy looked up from the griddle and smiled shyly. Suddenly, a better quality memory from last night hit him. He didn't go home with a girl last night. He came home with this man. This gorgeous man who he had never met in his life. What was Blaine thinking? One night stands were not his thing. He was a relationship kind of guy. He needed to feel loved, not used. Staring wide eyed at the man who saw him completely vulnerable last night, Blaine just wanted to leave.

The man opened his mouth but Blaine ducked his head and made a beeline to the front door. He muttered a quick goodbye as he slammed the door shut behind him and ran down the hall and down the stairs. He left the building and, with a great sigh of relief, recognized where he was and walked the five blocks down the street to his new apartment.

Blaine was not surprised to see David and Wes inside his apartment. They were cleaning up the empty vodka bottles and the red cups littering the floor. When he entered the apartment both of them shot him a dirty glare. "Oh there you are," Wes said darkly. "We were you had disappeared to."

Blaine shuffled into the living room and awkwardly started to pick up the trash off of the floor, "I got really drunk and…"

"Yeah no shit," David muttered.

"And I went home with some guy."

Wes and David both paused. "Wait you went home with a guy? You're a straight drunk. How did that happen?"

Blaine blushed, as more and more parts from last night became clearer, "I was dancing by myself and this guy jumped at me and asked me to dance. He was skinny and had a somewhat feminine body so I thought he was a chick and he was a great dancer so when he asked me to go home with him I said yes."

"David and I know all the dudes that were there last night," Wes said. "What was his name? What did he look like? If he's gay and single, we can hook you two up."

"Especially since last night was a disaster with you and Kurt," David growled. "Blaine what happened? I thought you were excited to meet Kurt!"

Blaine felt dizzy from his hangover and flopped down on the couch. "I'll be honest… I didn't want to meet him. I realized that I've never been single since I came out and I wanted to try to live for myself for a while before I went and tried to live for someone else again. But when I woke up this morning alone in a bed when I thought I'd be in someone's arms… I was really lonely. I don't want to be alone anymore. I've spent my whole life in a relationship and I don't think I can function without someone besides me." Blaine sighed loudly, "Does that sound pathetic or what?"

"Blaine, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship," David said, sitting next to him on the couch. "Some people like to be with someone and others don't. There's nothing wrong with the way you want to live your life. Now tell me about this lover from last night and Wes and I will see if we can figure out who he is."

"I don't know his name," Blaine confessed, picking at the bottom of his shirt. "When I realized he wasn't a chick and how shitty I felt because it was a one night stand, I kinda ran out. He was tall and skinny with brown hair and blue eyes."

Wes and David quickly went through the guest list in their head but neither could recall a specific person. "That's kinda vague, Blaine," Wes said. "Can you say anything else?"

Blaine shook his head sadly. "That's alright if you can't remember anyone. I'm sure he doesn't want to see me again. I'm pretty sure I asked him where his vagina was yesterday."

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><p>Kurt couldn't get that boy out of his head even six days later. That morning, after the boy had left so quickly with such a shocked expression on, Kurt ate the pancakes for them to share by himself and realized this boy must have been straight. He was told he looked like a girl when guys had a few drinks in their system so this guy must have thought he was a girl last night. He knew he heard something about looking for a vagina.<p>

Still, he couldn't hide his disappointment.

Kurt hated to admit it but he never realized how lonely he was until he woke up in a pair of warm arms. He really wanted a boyfriend. Mercedes chewed him out for getting smashed and refusing to meet Blaine but once she saw how upset he was about losing this straight guy, she backed off and promised she'd find Kurt a new man.

And for once, Kurt didn't mind that his friends were meddling in his love life.

Tina had called him asking if she and Mike could come over and two hours later they were on his door step.

"I've found him!" Tina squealed, throwing her arms around Kurt's neck. "I found your future boyfriend!"

"R-really? Who is he?" Kurt asked excitedly.

Tina paused then cursed, "Ohh, I forgot his name! Mike, do you remember?"

Mike opened his mouth, "Ummm… no."

Tina pouted but pushed Kurt to the couch, "Well, we'll figure it out sooner or later." Tina sat next to Kurt on the loveseat and pressed their knees together, their intertwined hands on top. Mike sat across the coffee table in the armchair. "As you know, the Asian community is super close, especially in New York." Kurt nodded. "And this past Tuesday was our usual two week meeting. Our friend Wes brought in one of his friends who just recently moved into the city. He's not fully Asian. His mother was…"

"Filipino," Mike answered.

"Yes, Filipino! He's cute, he's single, and he's gay. We already talked to him and told him we have the perfect boy for him! That of course is you!"

"You already talked to him about me?"

Tina nodded excitedly, "And he's totally excited to meet you. I didn't give him a lot of details about you."

Mike laughed, "That's an understatement. You didn't even tell him Kurt's name!"

Tina blushed, "Well, I wanted them to kinda go into this blind. If I tell you two too much about each other you'll make prejudice ideas. Kinda like how in college you never look too far into your future roommate's facebook."

"Tina, you went through all of Rebecca's photos," Mike said. "All two thousand of them."

"And this is why Rebecca and I didn't work!" Tina replied. "When I moved out and into Sandy's room, I didn't once look at her profile and now four years out of college and we're still super close! Because I didn't allow her facebook or what other people said to form my opinion on her. And that's what I want for you, Kurt. I want you to walk into that coffee shop tomorrow and greet this Asian without prejudice!"

"Well, thank you, Tina, Mike, I really… wait. Did you say coffee shop tomorrow?"

Mike slapped his forehead and Tina giggled, "Did I forget to mention? Your first date is tomorrow at two at the Bean Peddler."

"You're so lucky I'm free tomorrow."

Tina hugged him and switched topics. She told him about how annoying her next door neighbors were and how Mike keeps complaining about living so far away from Chinatown. Kurt wasn't paying too close attention though. His eyes kept wandering to the shiny diamond around her ring finger and he wondered if he'll ever get the chance to wear one.

* * *

><p>Blaine wasn't about to lie and say that he wasn't excited for his date because he totally was. He had spent the past few days picturing what he looked like and how he would react to Blaine's love for the Titanic. Nate never wanted to watch it with him so Blaine either watched it alone or with Wes and David via Skype. He cursed Tina and Mike for giving him nothing to work with because the more he tried to picture this boy the more he pictured the boy from the party.<p>

Why couldn't he get him out of his head? Oh yes, that's right. He was gorgeous and he was wonderful in bed. David nearly shrieked when he saw the bloody scratch marks on Blaine's back. However, Blaine thought they were wonderful. They reminded him of the blue eyed cutie. At the same time, he cursed this boy. He was half afraid he was going to compare his new date to him and the new boy just wouldn't be able to hold a candle to him. It was stupid, he told himself. It was stupid, Wes and David told him. He had met this boy once. Technically, he never met him at all.

A few times Blaine found himself five blocks down, near his apartment complex. But then Blaine would get embarrassed and leave quickly. The boy probably wanted nothing to do with him anyway.

So instead, Blaine focused on the date he had in thirty minutes. He was fresh from the shower and stood in only a towel as he flipped through his clothes in his closet. The weather was hot, as was expected in June, so Blaine chose a black tank top, an orange flannel cover and jean shorts. He shoved his feet into a pair of leather flip flops and grabbed his keys and wallet on the way out.

The Bean Peddler was a good twenty minute walk from his apartment and thankfully he didn't have to walk past the boy's complex. He would probably arrive a little early but Blaine hated to be late. As he passed a Chinese restaurant, he remembered how excited Wes was when he told him he accepted Tina and Mike's offer. He and David had been really worried about him for the past few days when they saw how depressed and lonely he was. As they searched for a new man for him, David had mentioned that he wouldn't try Kurt again because Mercedes had said he didn't seem all that interested in him.

Blaine didn't know whether to feel offended or to find it funny.

He arrived at the Bean Peddler slightly ahead of schedule. The shop was nearly empty with an elderly couple and a middle aged woman as the only other patrons. Blaine knew what he wanted but stared at the menu hanging behind the counter out of sheer boredom. He felt his phone vibrate.

_He will be a little late. Order a low fat mocha iced coffee for him. _

Tina added a little heart at the end. Shrugging, Blaine walked up the barista and ordered his date's coffee and his own medium drip. The barista looked stoned and made their coffee at an annoying slow pace. Blaine didn't want to tap his foot but he couldn't help but want to signal him to work a little faster. Finally, he handed over two cups and Blaine sat down at one of the tables in the back, waiting for his date to arrive.

* * *

><p>Kurt did not do physical activity. He did not enjoy running nor did he look graceful doing it and the wheezing it left him in was extremely unattractive. Instead, Kurt sped walked to the Bean Peddler. He cursed to himself and at his knuckle headed stepbrother. Who seriously needed help setting up a blender? Kurt knew Finn wasn't the shiniest piece of jewelry but was he seriously that clueless that he couldn't work the same blender he had for three years without his wife? No matter how much Kurt kept telling him he had to leave at right now or he would be late, Finn would not step begging. His stepbrother always sounded so pathetic when he begged so Kurt sighed and helped him step up his blender over the phone.<p>

His phone vibrated and he opened his text from Tina as he walked around slower pedestrians. _Told him you'd be late and he got you your coffee. _She added a heart and Kurt quickly typed back a thank you without losing stride.

Why did Tina pick a coffee shop twenty minutes away? Was it closer to his date's place? Sure, it was one of the best coffee houses around but he already felt out of breath. Finally the Bean Peddler was in sight and the butterflies in his stomach increased tenfold. He trusted Tina's judgment but that didn't stop him from seconding guessing himself for the past few days. Was he really ready for a relationship? What if Kurt was but this boy couldn't handle his work schedule?

He stopped at the door and took in a deep breath. With a shaky hand, he grabbed the door handle and pushed it open. It was quite and almost empty. He spotted an elderly couple drinking coffee and reading the newspaper and he saw a middle aged woman typing away on her laptop. Then he saw a boy sitting by himself who looked at Kurt the second he walked in.

Their eyes widened in recognition. God, Kurt thought. He was still as cute as he was when he was asleep in his bed. He couldn't believe this was happened. The very boy that hadn't left his head since he left his bed last week was his date. The boy who Kurt swore was straight was actually gay. He shuffled forward, probably looking like a fool under the boy's stunned and intense gaze.

"Hi," he offered lamely.

The boy blinked at him. "Hi," he said equally as stupidly.

"You're the one Tina and Mike are setting me up with?"

He nodded, "Yeah that's me. I got you coffee. Please, sit down."

Kurt slid into his chair and the two of them couldn't help but stare for a little while longer before laughing quietly. "This is a very weird twist of fate."

The boy nodded with a small smile, "I'd say so. I didn't think I'd ever see you again much less be my date."

"From the way you ran out last week I swore you were straight!" Kurt laughed but the boy bowed his head.

"I'm really sorry about that, by the way. I never had a one night stand before and I was so drunk that night and I thought you were a girl only to find out you were a really cute guy the next morning and I was so confused so I kinda just… ran."

Kurt blushed darkly at the compliment, "Wait, so you when home with me because you thought I was a girl…"

"Which I am incredibly sorry for!"

"Don't apologize. It's happened many times before, trust me," Kurt said with a wave of his hand. "Anyway, you went home with me, thinking I was a girl, but you're gay?"

"I'm a straight drunk," the boy exclaimed as he fiddled with his coffee cup. "And you were girlish and all over me so all thoughts sorta went to hell."

Now it was Kurt's turn to apologize. "Oh god, I was all over you, wasn't I? I'm a bit of a man whore when I'm drunk. Oh my gosh, I just told you that and I didn't even introduce myself! I'm Kurt."

The curly haired boy nearly knocked over his coffee. "K-Kurt?" he stammered. "As in… oh my god!"

Suddenly feeling incredibly self-conscious, Kurt bit his bottom lip. "Is… is that bad?"

"Kurt, I'm Blaine," he laughed.

Kurt gasped. "Blaine. As in David's Blaine. As in the Blaine he and Mercedes tried to set me up with but I refused to so I got really, really drunk in hopes he would hate my man-whorish ways and ended taking home a boy that I had sex with who turned out to be you? THAT Blaine?" Blaine nodded. "Oh god… oh my god! This really is a very weird twist of fate!"

Blaine laughed, "If you want to know something really funny to add to that. Those are the exact words going through my head. You are the Kurt David and Mercedes tried to set me up with but I really didn't want to date so I got really, really drunk knowing that I turned straight and ended up going home with a boy who I thought was a girl who is, in fact, you."

They stared at each other, both bewildered but amused. They grinned and laughed. Kurt kept thinking how insanely adorable Blaine looked when he smiled. "You know," he said. "When both Mercedes and Tina told me that they had the perfect guy for me, I thought they were both lying. But it seems that fate really wants us to be together."

Blaine's right hand left his coffee and laid palm up on the table. Kurt put his hand inside and Blaine squeezed it.

* * *

><p>Journal,<p>

Kurt and I have been planning for two weeks how to tell David and Mercedes we're dating. We were pretty sure they'd find it as positively hysterical as we did that we still ended up together despite our initial protests. Wes, Mike and Tina had thought so and were warned to keep this quiet from David and Mercedes. Kurt and I wanted the pleasure of seeing their faces first.

We had planned that Kurt was going to call up Mercedes and tell her he wanted to introduce his new boyfriend to her when we both knew David would be there. Then he'd bring me and boom! Surprise them. Before we could proceed with our plan, they had found out in a way that was much better than the real one. Especially since it wasn't scripted at all.

Kurt had a rare day off and asked me to join him for a movie marathon. Unfortunately, I was called into my work because my client really needed me to edit their book before tomorrow. I apologized but he said it was no problem and called up one of his other friends. When I got to work, it turned out that the book didn't need to be edited until the following Sunday so I was free to go home. Since Kurt was busy, I decided to drop by David's since I'd been avoiding him since Kurt and I got together.

David looked shocked and slightly nervous when I showed up uninvited to his apartment. I was confused at first until I heard Mercedes yell, "YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND AND YOUDIDN'T TELL ME?" followed shortly by Kurt's laughter. Then I understood why David didn't seem too excited to have me there. If Kurt and I hadn't gotten together and hadn't met at all, I wouldn't have wanted to be in the same room as the guy I got incredibly drunk to avoid who also did the same thing. I pushed through and said, "Oh good! Mercedes is here!"

I walked into the living room where Mercedes and Kurt were sitting on two separate couches. Mercedes was fuming while my boyfriend tried to calm her down. David coughed behind me and both of their heads snapped up. Kurt looked shocked to see me here when I was supposed to be at work and Mercedes had the same nervous expression David had.

"Blaine!" she squeaked. "I wasn't expecting to see you here. How are you? Oh, Blaine this is…"

"Kurt!" I said, grinning from ear to ear. I sat myself down in his lap and kissed him soundly. David dropped his glass of water and I could practically hear Mercedes's jaw drop.

Pulling away, Kurt leaned his forehead against mine. He smiled brightly. "Blaine, you said you had work."

I shrugged, "Stupid writer doesn't know her calendar. As soon as I got there she called and said next week."

"I-I'm sorry," Mercedes started, sounding more confused than sorry. "But what the hell is this?"

Laughing, I slipped out of Kurt's lap and sat thigh to thigh besides him. Kurt explained the whole story from our one night stand to our Asian friends setting us up. Their shocked faces were as wonderful as he had imagined.

After getting over their surprise, Mercedes and David were laughing themselves to tears. Mercedes then wrapped us both in a gigantic hug that nearly snapped me in half.

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

Well, diary, this is it! Blaine and my three month anniversary! Can you believe it's been three months? I can't! It feels like we've been together forever already. We spend nearly every day together and we're already so in sync with one another.

As you know, dearest diary, Blaine and I decided we were going to do this right, despite the fact that we started backwards with sex then names. We decided to wait a little before rushing into bed once more. Although, as you can recall, that didn't turn out as planned because a month into our relationship, at Puck's birthday bash, Blaine and I once again got smashed and ripped off each other's clothes. It wasn't as bad this time because I was only a man whore with Blaine and Blaine remembered I was a boy and stayed away from other girls.

And after that, of course, we decided screw going slow.

Blaine doesn't mind that I work a lot and at various times during the week. He is still trying to get in some more Blaine-time in between his own job as an editor. We both had said that in doesn't matter what our schedules look like during the day as long as we try to get home at night. We sleep over each other's apartments frequently and almost never spent the night alone. We often fall asleep on the couch either watching the Titanic, Blaine's favorite movie, or Project Runway, my favorite show.

And let me tell you, diary, there is nothing like falling asleep and waking up with Blaine wrapped my body. There's just something about it that makes me feel so warm and happy. I don't know if this is love or not but I can easily see it going down that road every morning when he presses a sweet kiss to my forehead.

* * *

><p>Woot! And I'm done!<p>

Reviews would be splendid.


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